Since arriving in Melbourne, Paulette, a family friend of Dan's, has been wonderful to us. She feeds us, teaches us about driving with the trams, and yesterday brought us to Healesville Animal Sanctuary using two of her family passes.

'Now remember,' she said to us as we approached the top of the entry queue, 'you're Michelle, and you're Rob.'

Suddenly I panicked. The woman scanning the passes looked awfully stern. I didn't have an Australian accent. I didn't know my last name. She was going to see right through us and ban us from Healesville forever.

Dan went up first and I didn't really know what to do so I ran up beside him. I may as well have shouted 'I'M MICHELLE'. She took our passes and typed something into the computer.

'We don't have your pictures on file,' she said. 'Mind if we take them now?'

'Errr... ' We looked at Paulette who just shrugged, the anxiety clear in her countenance (I'm reading the Count of Monte Cristo and he always says stuff like that).

She took our photos so let's just hope Rob and Michelle look like us, otherwise I see a national scandal in our future. Cops at the door, back on the boat to Ireland, Australian passport taken off me. Sorry Rob and Michelle.

But anyway whatever because we got to pet this wombat! Her name was Shadow and I love her and I've now achieved a life goal.