I have an obsession with buying kiwis. There are 8 kiwis in my fridge right now. Every time I go to the supermarket I think "Oh I must just pick up some kiwis." Sometimes I pass the kiwis and panic, wondering have I in fact run out of kiwis. What if I don't get back to the supermarket? What if the tiny Tesco near my house doesn't have any kiwis?

I don't even really like kiwis that much if I'm truly honest with myself. I quite like them, but they're a hassle because they have skin that you (presumably) can't eat. They require a knife and a spoon, and a plate for leverage. That's why I never eat all these kiwis.

I found myself thinking today, as I looked at my 17 kiwis, I should start getting into smoothies. I'd definitely eat all the kiwis if they were in the form of a paste. I should buy a blender.

Luckily I came to my senses with a flash into the future. 31 kiwis and a dusty smoothie maker, possibly used once. Moved to the corner to live with the two (yes, TWO) waffle irons.

46 kiwis later I'm poking around looking for something to eat. I shove the kiwis out of the way and eat a giant packet of Minstrels.

Imagine the casserole possibilities: 8 kiwis, bottle of Hoegarden beer, beans of unknown age and jam