The Australian Biscuit Situation
May 24, 2015

Maybe it's because Australians aren't really into tea, so they don't realise the merit of a top quality biscuit to dip in the tea. Whatever the cause, Australians are terrible at biscuits. And chocolate. Chocolate especially because it all has that non-melting agent.

Woolworths divides the biscuits up by type, so chocolate, ginger, plain, chocolate chip etc. I don't know why they bother because it's all awful. They do their own brand of most proper biscuits, like Custard Creams, Nice etc. Except they just get it wrong in every way. They're too thick, too crumbly, too lumpy. Luckily they have McVities Digestives so now I've turned into my Dad. Has there ever been a more Dad biscuit than a plain Digestive?

One day though, I discovered... Anzac Biscuits. I would go as far as saying they are actually superior to most proper Irish biscuits. They're like Hobnobs with coconut. I'm a bit worried that they're only available around Anzac Day. A biscuity way of honouring our forefathers and their participation in WW1.

Incidentally, when you walk from our flat to the city centre you can choose to walk by a large Anzac Memorial. We did this one evening at around 6pm and a speaker bellowed at us to stand for the lowering of the flag. We stood there for about 15 minutes. All we wanted to do was get home and eat our Digestives and Anzac biscuits.

They don't really stock sugary cereals, chocolate bars (well there's no demand for chocolate bars because the chocolate is so bad) or crisps. And for the most part they all look fit and healthy. Maybe I could learn something from my new Australian comrades. Or maybe I'll just grow enormous from overcompensating with Digestives.

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